Unwrap Your Desire

OLIVIA

MY EMOTIONS were too high, as if nothing could ever make me feel okay. Minutes after I went home, I threw myself into bed and sobbed into my pillow. I was extremely disappointed in myself for failing to perform well on the entrance examination. Though I was not that entirely ready, I mustered up the courage to do so and did stay up very late to prepare for the exam. I had memorized some information from the books in Chase’s library to the point where I was getting migraines. How come the result of those efforts made me so unhappy and broken?

No matter how hard I tried to be optimistic and see the positive aspects of everything, it seemed as if I would never be able to get used to having bad days. I was simply attempting to begin a new life, to educate myself, and to nurture myself, as I believed these were the things I had missed and lacked the most. I was trying to pick myself up off the ground! Regardless of the circumstances, I wanted to become better… but it seemed impossible.

If only fate had played a bit nicer to me.

“What happened?” Lara called me soon after I sent her a text message, telling her that I was devastated.

As I looked down at my bare feet on the floor, I sobbed, my lips quivering. I went into the bathroom after crying my heart out in bed, only to find myself sitting on the toilet, crying again. My chest felt so heavy. My tears would not stop streaming down my face. It was as if there was nothing that could make me at least better.

“Hey, are you crying? What’s wrong, Olivia?” This time her voice sounded so worried, soft and soothing, which made me shed more tears.

“I took an entrance exam for a university today…” I started and swallowed so hard while wiping my endless tears away using a tissue.

“What?” She reacted, and I could tell that she was frowning wherever she was right now. “Entrance exam? Are you planning to study?”

“That’s the plan, Lara.” I took a deep breath, then let out a whimper. “But the exam was so difficult. I was not able to answer half of those ten-page test papers. I fucked up and I don’t think the school would take me in,” I managed to utter between my countless sobs. “Chase will be disappointed in me once he finds out about this. He had seen Reese outsmart a lot of her peers in the past. How could I possibly do that knowing how uneducated I am? Shit. I am screwed!”

“Hold on, Olivia. Please calm down a bit,” she paused and inhaled heavily. “Alright, I want to understand what you are trying to do. So, basically, you went to a university today and took an entrance exam. May I know why you did that in the first place? Is Chase forcing you to study?”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

“No, he’s not. It is my decision, Lara. I want to take a business course and start my own company in the future. I want to explore what I am capable of. I want to…” I huffed and swallowed hard. “I want to be the best, Lara, and to exert some effort to see myself succeeding in life.”

“I don’t understand you, Olivia. Why would you go to that extent when you are already the wife of a billionaire? You are rich and successful already! For the record, going to college will take more than just your efforts, it requires full responsibility and commitment. It is not something you will just enter just because you are bored. Geez!”

I sighed, too exhausted to even contemplate picking a fight with Lara over a freaking phone call at this point. I was well aware that this might have sounded insane to her, and that she might have thought it was a strange thing for me to do in this situation. But I could not resist the urge to try my luck, not because I was goddamn bored, but because I had decided to pursue a dream that I was willing to put in the effort to realize. If this is a case of insanity for her, then I guess she could think that way, and I could only care less about her opinion.

“Lara, look…” I said, trying to stop myself from crying. I looked up at the ceiling and continued, “You may think that I am bored in life now that I am a wife of a wealthy man. That’s why I wanted to enroll in college, but let me tell you that I did think several times before I decided to push it through. This is the first time I ever dreamed of doing something I really wanted to do without minding the expenses and how I would survive my life. I want to go to a university so badly… I want to study business! I want to become a person I’d be proud of, to the point that even if Chase found out that I was only deceiving him, I could always pick myself up because I am not the same woman who runs after money anymore.”

Lara was completely speechless on the other end of the phone line, and all I could hear was my deep breathing. I knew this wasn’t my usual self, but I was in such a bad mood. Was this the same feeling that some students had experienced when they failed an entrance exam? If that’s the case, how did they manage to move forward?

I could not believe that this was the highlight of my day. Failure…

“Okay, I understand now…” Lara said after a few minutes of silence and hearing me cry like a baby. “I am sorry, Olivia, for the way I reacted. You already know me, I am such a trash talker. I didn’t mean to add to your frustrations. I am really sorry.”

“Forgiven,” I said as I reached for another roll of tissue from the tissue holder beside me. I wiped my tears and blew my nose. “And I am sorry for bothering you, Lara. You’re the only person who I can disturb and nag at.”

“No, that’s okay. Perhaps I am completely surprised about your decision, which is why I reacted that way, but if you really want to study and equip yourself, you shouldn’t be afraid of failures, Olivia. I mean, it is part of the process. If you fail to enter one university, then go find other universities out there. Take several entrance exams and wait for the results. I am confident that you’ll pass in one of them. It’s too early to give up.”

“But how would I tell Chase about this?”

“Come on, he is your husband now. He wouldn’t marry Reese Jones if he did not have much understanding that the woman he loved dearly could always experience failure at some point. For sure, he will understand. Knowing Chase, he won’t be disappointed at all. Just be honest with him, move on and try again…”

I nodded my head in agreement with what Lara had said. After all, she had a valid point. I couldn’t do anything else right now but accept the fact that my first attempt had been a complete failure. However, I should never give up that easily. It was only my first attempt, after all.

“So, cheer up, girl. You’ve got this! You’ve been through a lot, and there’s no way you can not pass a freaking entrance exam. Simply review more thoroughly and try again. Repeat the process!”

“Thanks, Lara.” The side of my lips curled up into a smile.

***

I WAS IN THE KITCHEN attempting to prepare a decent dish for dinner, still upset about what had happened earlier in the day but determined to move on as quickly as possible from it. Lara was completely correct. I should not allow myself to become engulfed in negativity simply because I failed once. In fact, I wasn’t accustomed to living in such a manner.

I have always been a fighter in life.

I busied myself cooking chicken curry when I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. I thought it was one of the bodyguards Chase hired to secure the whole mansion, but I was surprised to see that it was none other than my husband. He was all smiles as he walked into the kitchen in his business black formal suit, dressed like the highest paid model.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he greeted me as he walked by and kissed me on the forehead the moment he stood up in front of me.

“You went home early,” I commented, checking my wrist watch. It said five o’clock in the afternoon.

“Well, I finished approving some proposals earlier than my supposed clock out time, and I am excited to see my wife.” His eyes went to the stove. “What’s that? It smells good.”

“Chicken curry for our dinner,” I replied, which made him grin.

“One of my favorites,” he remarked. “You really are the best wife.”

I shook my head, trying to suppress my smile as his presence made me instantly better. I heard him walking to the fridge, then he took a bottle of water and drank it.

“Reese.”

“Hmm?”

“You did not update me about the exam. How is it?” he asked curiously.

For a brief moment, my movements were slow as I struggled to summon the courage to tell him what had really happened. Closing my eyes, I reminded myself that Chase would be able to fully understand it. When I opened them, I took a deep breath and turned around so that I could face him.

He sat on one of the chairs in the countertop table. His full attention was directed at me, which made me feel very nervous at the time.

“I don’t think the university will take me in, Chase…” I said softly.

He gasped in his place, and all I could think about was my embarrassment. Despite my best efforts to improve myself, I failed miserably on my first attempt to do so. Chase didn’t say anything and just waited for me to explain myself further. I let out a long sigh and turned my attention to my feet.

“I’m unable to finish the exam on time. I don’t think I’ll pass it. I left almost half of the questionnaires unanswered.”

And there, I said it. My heart was beating so rapidly. I had no idea that admitting that I had failed an entrance exam for a university would be such a tough thing. I was like, in the center of a fire.

“I know you’ve seen me as a woman who’s very intelligent and capable in the past, and I am sorry to disappoint you in this way-”

“Hey, hey…” He immediately stood up and closed the distance between us. He held both of my shoulders as he glanced down at me. His expression softened, his eyes telling me that everything was okay. “No need for you to say sorry. Entrance exams were never easy, Reese. I’ve been there, and I completely understand.”

“But I disappoint you,” I admitted in a mutter.

“Please don’t say that. You have done great, Reese. Your courage is adorable. In fact, I admire you so much. There’s no way I would feel disappointed in you,” he said, trying to comfort me as he caressed my hair.

“Aren’t you exaggerating a bit?” I said, a small smile escaping my lips.

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, wife. That’s really how I felt when you made this decision. Did you get the result of the entrance exam already?”

I shook my head and let out a big sigh. I looked at him, unhappy. “They said they would just email us about the results. But I think I don’t want to wait and check it anymore, I already know that I failed.”

I leaned in close to his chest and closed my eyes. He comforted me by hugging me and patting my back, which helped me cope with my sadness. I may have had a bad day, but knowing that Chase was here with me, making an effort to make me feel better, was enough for me to still see the good things about this day.

“Do you really want to go to that university?” he asked in his soft, curious tone.

I nodded my head, my lips protruded, and I huffed. “It became my dream university the first time I saw it. But maybe I am not meant to get accepted at Steinfields. I called Lara and she said I could try somewhere else. She may be right, but I still can’t seem to move on. That is the only school I want to attend.”

“I see…” He inhaled heavily, then caressed my head. “Don’t be so sad. The results haven’t been delivered yet. You still have a chance. Unless we see in their email that they rejected you, that is the only time we will try other universities.”

“But I don’t think it’s possible for me to pass the exam, Chase. I screwed it.”

“No, Reese. You are overthinking it again…” He withdrew from our embrace and pinched my cheek. “Cheer up. Let’s just wait for now, alright? Don’t overthink it, please. You’ll get ugly.”

His last statement made me chuckle. I could not help but wonder where he got this kind of positivity. It was, indeed, infectious.

“That’s better. I always like it whenever I see your pretty smile.”

“Thanks, Chase. You’re the best.” And I mean it.

“And I want to keep it as it is,” he said meaningfully. “I will go upstairs because I need to make a few phone calls, but I will get back here so we can have dinner, alright?”

“Sure thing.” I tiptoed over and kissed him on the lips, which made him smile sweetly.