Revolting

Chapter Forty Six - Mourning Hannah

I hugged myself around the middle to try and stop the aching in my chest as they carried Daisy back to the house. They took her into the Luna's bedroom, keeping her away from Gabe's cold body. They were so gentle with her, as they tucked her into the blankets. Nina sat beside her on the bed, stroking her wild blond curls away from her white and colorless face. The Luna made herself comfortable against the headboard, obviously preparing herself to sit with Daisy for the duration. She turned her eyes toward William "I'll stay with her. Can you... take care of Gabe?"

William nodded miserably; his shoulders slumped. My brother hovered around him, his brow furrowed with worry as they made their way back to the bedroom. There were things to be done, I guess. They wanted to wash the dead man, dress him in nice clean clothes, and prepare him for burial. William and Heath whispered together, and Heath's hand settled often on William's shoulder, offering him strength, reassurance, sympathy and comfort.

The pack had forgotten about me. I faded into the background and watched as unfamiliar faces moved around me. Another woman took over the kitchen, and began brewing coffee and preparing breakfast in the pre-dawn hours. The injured guard passed, his head now wrapped in a bandage, still looking a little pale and shaken.

The little toddler was wandering around sleepily, her fingers stuck in her mouth, her sweet black curls squashed and matted on one side of her head where she had been laying on her pillow. Her big grey-blue eyes watched the adults around her with quiet contemplation, as if she understood that something terrible had happened, and was solemnly taking it in stride.

She spotted me sitting alone in the corner of the sitting room. She came up to me and leaned against my knees. The fact that the baby had come to me, either to comfort herself, or to comfort me brought tears to my eyes. She held one arm up to me, the other being occupied in her mouth, and I understood that she wanted me to pick her up. I lifted her small body and arranged her in my lap. Something about the baby eased the ache in my chest that was threatening to crush me. She leaned her head against my shoulder and trailed her fingers over the scar on my face. Her little brow furrowed in concentration as she touched my temple, my cheek, my jaw. But I didn't mind. She was so innocent, and there was no judgement in her eyes, only curiosity. Like she was trying to figure out why my face looked different from the other adults around her.

Apparently satisfied, she gave my face a pat of dismissal and snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm. I hugged her too me and closed my eyes.

For the first time in my life, at least since my father died, I found acceptance in a pack. Daisy's love and friendship had covered me like a warm blanket on a cold night. They had helped me, and helped my brother when we needed help, with no conditions, no demands, and no strings attached. Love, respect, acceptance, inclusion, equality... that was the spirt of the young Rebel Moon Pack.

Look what I had done. Although I never intended to bring any harm to anyone, my presence here had brought disaster and heartache to these sweet, kind people. Michael wasn't at war with the Rebel Moon, he had been after me. It was all because of me. I had run straight to Daisy, and Gabe had jumped in to protect his mate when Michael followed us. I hadn't put my teeth into Gabriel, but I might as well have. It was my fault.

It was always my fault.

I leaned my head back against the chair and let the hot tears roll unchecked down my face. I wasn't crying for Gabe or for my dear friend, I was crying for myself. So much had changed in such a short time, from the day Michael had shot Heath, right up to the present moment. Our life had been hard, but simple. Stay on the move, and fight to survive. Heath and I hadn't had much, but we had had each other. It wasn't a nice life, but it was the only life I had known. You know they say you don't miss what you don't know, and its true. I didn't remember the comforts of a pack, so I didn't miss it. I didn't miss the friendship, the comradery, the protection, even the annoying moments of being part of a big family. I had forgotten what it was like to have a full stomach, to sleep in a soft, warm bed, to get a hot shower whenever you wanted it. I had been too young when we left our pack to appreciate what it was like to lay down for the night in the safety and security of a pack, knowing that the guards would keep watch at night, and you had nothing to do besides lay your head on the pillow and close your eyes.

Now I knew. I knew what I was missing. Worse than that, I had lost my brother. All his attention was on his mate now. I watched them as they exited the bedroom, shutting the door quietly but firmly behind them, and moved down the hall to the kitchen. Heath wanted coffee, and William wanted hot chocolate. They were obviously exhausted after the long, dreadful night, but it wasn't over yet. Heath belonged to William now, there was no denying it. They had marked each other, and the connection between them was palpable. My brother belonged here. It might take him time to reconcile himself to being in a pack again, but I knew he would eventually come around.novelbin

But there was no place for me in Rebel Moon. I lifted one palm from Raine's back and looked at the red welts where I had used my bare hands to loosen Michael's restraints. I had brought pain and destruction down on these good people. And then I'd betrayed them by helping Michael escape. When they found out what I did, they would have no choice but to banish me... or worse. It didn't matter how kind they had been; I had broken the law. I was a true rogue. I sighed and lifted Raine off from my lap. She looked up at me, blinking her eyes. She was just a baby, and yet I had a strange sense that she knew everything. There was a knowing in her eyes, and a sad acceptance. She nodded her little head at me and turned to toddle back toward the kitchen. I heard her call out for, "Uncle Weeyum," as she disappeared from my sight.

I stood on shaky legs and took one last look around. The farm house was old and tired, but it was full of love and warmth. Oh god, I would miss it. I scrubbed at my eyes and moved slowly toward the back door. No one noticed me as I slipped out, and sprinted for the trees.