Never His Mate: a Rejected Mates Shifter Romance (Claws and Fangs Book 1)

I’m glad I warned Aleks against following after me because, as I let myself into the apartment, Ryker’s scent is everywhere.

It’s not as pungent as his marking outside of Charlie’s which is good because that means he didn’t feel like upping his… whatever he’s doing… by peeing in my apartment. Of course, the markers of his scent just tell me that he went with a little B&E instead.

He’s been in here. The front door was locked, so I know he didn’t break in this way.

Ugh. The balcony.

Of course.

Though his pine-and-spice scent overlays the whole damn apartment, I open my mouth just enough to taste it. In close quarters, I can snuffle my nose, tasting a scent and tracing it.

Why am I not surprised to find that he headed straight to my room?

It’s hard to tell if he’s still in there. The hairs on my arm are sticking straight up, my entire body aware of his presence. Either he was just here—which makes sense since he couldn’t have had much of a head start on me—or he’s waiting for me. Neither option really appeals to me, and I can only guess how he found the apartment. To beat me here, no way he followed me… unless he already tracked me to the building.

Just like he tracked me to Mea Culpa.

My hand freezes on the doorknob to my room. How, I wonder. How can he do that? Between the chamomile tea and Aleks’s fang, I don’t really smell like me so it’s not like he can use his snout.

But, as my mate, he wouldn’t need to use my scent trail to chase me down. At any time after I became his intended—so after the Alpha Ceremony at the beginning of last year—he could follow the bond stretched between us right to me.

It doesn’t work for me, but that makes sense. These days, my half of the bond is a memory.

What if his isn’t?

He’s never given me any indication before now that he even feels it. Does he?

I wish I fucking knew.

I also wish I didn’t have to deal with this.

I shake my head, giving my doorknob a turn so rough, I nearly break it off.

No. There’s got to be another explanation. Maybe some alpha skill that no one’s taught me because I’ve always presented as an omega. It has to be that. Otherwise, if I accept that Ryker could’ve used the bond to find me all these months, that begs the question: why hasn’t he?

Why now?

I don’t know, and after the night I’ve had, I’m pretty fucking sure I don’t want to.

I shove my bedroom door in.

Then, as if I can’t believe what I’m seeing, I stare.

Welp. He’s definitely been in here. Not only that, but he’s left a couple of things behind.

There, placed neatly in the middle of my messy bed, is a bouquet of wildflowers wrapped with a ribbon the same deep honey color as my eyes. Their sweet scent and colorful array draw my attention, but they can’t compete with the second scent wafting its way over to me.

Holy shit. He brought me a slice of sausage and onion pizza. One of those massive ones you get when you buy it by the slice instead of ordering a whole pie. It’s spread out on two flimsy paper plates, a pile of napkins tucked underneath it, a plume of smoke rising up from the melted cheese like it’s just been pulled from the oven.

My stomach grumbles. As a shifter, I’m always down to eat and, whether he knew or he just got real fucking lucky, Ryker’s left me a piece of pizza with my favorite toppings on it.

Shame I can’t eat it.

I can keep the flowers. There’s no deeper meaning behind them other than they’re pretty and Ryker’s probably trying to fool me into thinking he has good intentions. But the food? It blows his ‘good’ intentions out of the water.

No matter his reasons—and, from everything I’ve learned about Ryker Wolfson over the last eleven years, I’m sure he has his reasons—he’s made it clear since he arrived in Muncie that he sees me as his mate. Bringing food to another shifter isn’t just a kindness. It’s a gesture that says: I will protect you, I will feed you, and you’ll want for nothing if I’m around.

If I accept it, I’m basically saying: okay.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

Leaving the flowers where they are, I grab the plate and march back out into the hall. I plan on bringing it to the kitchen and unceremoniously dumping it in the trash. However, as soon as I leave my room, my senses start to ping and, before I think better of it, I let them guide me to my living room.

No. Not the living room.

The balcony.

Peering through the glass door that separates the balcony and the apartment, I see Ryker out there, back against the railing of the fire escape. His arms are folded behind him, perched on the top bar of the railing. His bare feet are crossed in front of him.

Oh, boy. No shoes. When a shifter takes off his shoes, it’s a sure sign that he’s preparing to shift. Clothes are pretty easy to replace if you go wolf before stripping down, but a good pair of boots is a waste if you can’t kick them off in time.

I should pretend I don’t see him. I should just chuck the pizza and go back to my room. I’m almost a hundred percent sure he wasn’t out there a few minutes ago, but now that he’s back? He’s looking for my reaction. He wants to see how I accept his ‘gifts’.

That seals it for me. He wants to see?

Sure thing.

Pausing only long enough to kick off my heels, I throw open the door and step out onto the balcony.

You’d think that, after spending the last few minutes with Ryker’s scent whirling around me inside my enclosed apartment, I would be able to handle being next to him. That would be a nope. The second I get within his space, his scent goes straight to my head.

Luna, he smells so, so good. It’s not fair.

A tiny, secretive smile tugs on his lush lips, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. Then, with a nod at the plate I’m still holding, he says, “Hungry?”

There’s a hint of an arrogant tease in the one word that pulls me toward the surface. I might’ve been drowning in the Alpha’s presence, but the way he seems so sure that I’m going to accept any kind of food from him reminds me what I was going to do with this pizza.

I give Ryker a steely look and, with a quick flick of my wrist, send the paper plate and the pizza flying off the balcony, like it’s some kind of delicious frisbee.

Ryker watches it fly, then shrugs his shoulders. “And here I thought you were a fan of sausage. Maybe next time I’ll bring the pepperoni.”

“Don’t bother,” I tell him. Then, because I have to know, I demand, “What are you doing here? I thought you’d still be back at the club.”

That’s a lie. I know he already left, but if I say what I really suspected—that I’d been worried he’d left the club with a bombshell vamp or two on his arm—then he’d just turn around and accuse me of being jealous over him.

And, Luna damn it, he’d be right.

Can he tell that I’m full of shit?

Maybe, considering he snorts and says, “Yeah, right. We both know the reason why I was watching you dance with your bloodsucker boyfriend, and it wasn’t to pick up a date of my own. Once I sensed you getting ready to go, I was out of there.”

“Okay,” I say, trying to ignore the way my wolf perks up at his admission—or how she snorts herself when she hears Ryker call Aleks my ‘bloodsucker boyfriend’. “But you shouldn’t be here. I already told you, Ryker. This is my territory. Go back to yours. Go back to Accalia.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” Ryker uncrosses his legs and widens his stance, spreading his arms out along the railing. Getting cozy, is he? “Just not without you.”

“Why?” I still don’t have the answer to the question that’s been haunting me since he first showed up. “You forgot about me for a year. Then, out of nowhere, you’re here and you think I’m just going to go along with your courtship bullshit.”

Because that’s what this is. The claiming, the showing of his dominance as he fought Aleks, the way he marked the bar, then brought food to my freaking bedroom. These are all shifter rituals that take place during the mating dance—and they’re all a year too late.

And it’s not like I expected Ryker to do all of this stuff last year. I didn’t. I went along with the arranged mating because I knew that he was my fated mate. When the moon said I was his intended mate, Ryker accepted it, too, until the moment he didn’t. Why would he have to work for such a sure thing? The courtship rituals were for shifters who were trying to convince their mates to accept them. To choose them. Ryker didn’t have to convince me of anything.

Of course, that was last year. And, no matter what he says, I’m not his mate. Not anymore.

The fact that he’s trying to involve me in his one-sided mating dance is proof enough that he knows that. But it’s not going to stop this determined alpha from trying.

Why? I just don’t get it. Why now? The now is what counts. The why he wants me is pretty obvious. Hello, female alpha here. But now? He could’ve come after me a year ago. Why now?

“A year,” I say again, hammering home the point. “What? Did you forget about me?”

His shoulders tighten. It’s the only sign that he’s not as relaxed as he’s trying to appear. “No, I didn’t forget you. You need to understand this, Gemma. I gave you the first full moon to cool off, then I went after you.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not. Maybe I was too cocky, but I thought I could explain. But you were gone. I couldn’t find you. No one could find you. It was like you up and disappeared. I could sense you were out of Accalia, and then you weren’t anywhere. No trace of your scent, no hint of our bond.”

Whoa. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard Ryker mention any kind of bond, especially not one with me.

“A year,” he tosses at me, sounding far more carefree than the muscle ticking in his jaw reveals him to be. “Do you know how long that is? A year, searching. Despite what you think happened that night, I didn’t reject you. You’re my mate. You’ve always been my mate. Alphas aren’t meant to rule the pack alone. Mountainside needs its Alpha couple. So I searched, and I waited, and I hoped that you’d come back to me. Some packmates thought you might be dead, but I thought I would know even if our bond was gone. And then, on Friday night, I felt it. For the first time in a year, I could sense you. I knew where you were. I knew you were down here, so close I could almost taste you.”

Friday. I go absolutely still as I think about Friday.

That’s the night when I caught the scent of an unfamiliar wolf. When I snapped my necklace so I wasn’t wearing it, and I’d neglected to drink my chamomile tea the night before.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

Holy shit. Talk about a perfect storm of fuck-ups.

Is that how he found me?

“I made arrangements with my Beta to leave Accalia, but by the time I made it here later that night, it was barely a whisper,” Ryker adds, basically confirming my unsaid suspicions. Later that night… oh, about the time I drank the tea Aleks made for me? Hmm… “My wolf’s a stubborn bastard, though, sweetheart. I found you, didn’t I? And, now that I have, I’m not going anywhere.

“It might not be as strong as it’s supposed to be, but I feel our bond. It’s here. Gemma, it’s here.” He raps his chest with his knuckles before resuming his lazy pose. “So tell me you’ll never be my mate all you want. I know better. You’re mine. Sooner or later you’ll agree and come back with me. I’ll just have to wait here until you do.”

Great. Just what I need. Another patient supe.

“No waiting necessary.” I fold my hands into fists. “I’m not your mate, and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”

A small, lazy, sexy smile slowly crawls its way over his face.

Not the reaction I was expecting to my heated declaration.

“Know what?” Ryker’s a wolf, but damn if that isn’t a purr. “That sounds like a challenge to me.”

‘Challenge’ again. And, this time, there’s no mistaking it. He’s not challenging my position in the pack, or my dominance. He’s challenging my rejection of him.

Alphas never back down from a challenge. If I thought Ryker had pushed things by showing up at Charlie’s, showing up at Mea Culpa, breaking into my apartment to leave me flowers and pizza… he would only just be getting started. Especially since Roman Zakharov has given him permission to stick around Muncie.

I have to shut this down. Now.

“It’s totally not.”

A bark of a laugh. Ah, there’s a bit of the wolf. “Too late.”

I back up against the balcony door.

Ryker watches my sudden retreat. His alpha aura, the one that has been reaching toward me, licking out at me, trying to lure me closer… he pulls it in some, just enough to give me the air to breathe.

His voice drops. “I’ll never force you,” he vows. “It’s your choice, Gemma. It’s always been your choice. But you’ve thrown out the challenge. I’m an alpha. You had to know I couldn’t refuse.”

I swallow roughly. I can breathe, but I’m so consumed by him that it’s a struggle.

Finally, I manage to say, “You should probably go.”

His eyes dip low, back up, then down again. At first, I think he’s openly appreciating the little black dress I wore to the club, but when his gaze skims over my bare thighs, my narrow hips, and the little cleavage I have before landing on Aleks’s fang, I realize that it has all of his attention.

And if I’m a little disheartened that the skimpiest dress in my closet barely earned me a once-over, I shake it off. His fixation on my necklace is a bit more of a pressing matter right now.

He looks at the fang as if he’s itching to yank it off, but he knows better than to push me that far.

Still staring at it, he says, “The bloodsucker isn’t here.”

I don’t even ask how he knows that. He’s an alpha wolf who’s never once shied away from who—and what—he is. He embraces his nature in a way that I’ve never been able to. My senses are keen, but his are unstoppable. He can probably pinpoint exactly when Aleks was last in the apartment, so of course he knows that I’m alone.

And if there’s a rumble of pleasure coming from him when he mentions that fact, I do my best to pretend I don’t notice.

“So? Despite what you think, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my roommate. We come and go as we please, and I’m used to sleeping by myself at night.”

“Good answer,” Ryker drawls, his eyes flashing so brightly, I have to fight the urge to flinch.

Only when the air turns thick with his sudden arousal do I run my words back through my head and realize what it is I just said—and how he must have interpreted it.

Not that Aleks and I aren’t dating, but that I’m not dating anyone.

I step toward him. “Ryker, I⁠—”

“I’ll watch over you,” he cuts in. “I’ll stay out here on the balcony, but I’m not leaving you alone. Not now that I’ve found you again.”

From between gritted teeth, I tell him, “I don’t need your protection.”

His eyes sparkle mischievously. “Oh?”

That should’ve been my first warning. I haven’t seen Ryker this unguarded since the pack meet when I was twenty, he was twenty-two, and we spent the whole night talking under the stars as I fell further and further in love with the future Alpha.

“The parasites that run this city of yours don’t want any trouble with the pack,” he reminds me. Yeah. Thanks, Roman. “I’m allowed to stay as long as I behave myself. Parading around in my fur? That probably isn’t what they expect. What do you think?”

My immediate response—”Don’t call the Cadre parasites”—is cut off with a frustrated growl when, before I can guess what he’s about to do, Ryker shifts on the spot.

The clothes he was wearing seconds ago rip and shred and just about slap me in the face. I wasn’t expecting him to shift so close to me, and I jump away again, landing in a crouch with one hand pressed against the balcony door.

With a smug look on his wolf’s muzzle, Ryker settles down. He deserves to be smug, too. Unless I want to physically pick him up and toss him off the fire escape, he’s not going to leave that spot until he wants to.

I scowl. “That was a dick move, Ryker.”

He cocks his head and, as a wolf, barks out another laugh that isn’t so different from the one he has when he’s human.

Still, I’ll always give credit where credit’s due.

As I roll my eyes and stalk back inside of the apartment, I have to admit that he’s definitely won this round.

I lock myself in my room and pray to the moon herself that I can just fall asleep and put this night behind me.

It’s tough. I don’t want to think about Ryker’s wolf acting like a sentry out on the balcony which means, of course, that it’s all I dwell on as I toss and turn, waiting to see if I can sense Aleks’s return to the apartment. Hours after I slunk into my room, he still hasn’t come back which just makes me feel worse about the way everything went down.

Even though I was still pretty ticked off with him, I sent him a text that Ryker was out there since I figured he’d appreciate the head’s up. I already knew my roommate wouldn’t be too happy that Ryker made himself at home in our place earlier, but after our argument at Mea Culpa, I was doing my part to smooth things over.

Letting Aleks walk into this whole mess unprepared would be a disaster. I hated the idea that he might think that I got back at him for his comment by inviting Ryker home with me when there was nothing further than the truth. And, up until last night, I never would’ve guessed Aleks would even think something like that—but that was up until last night.

I didn’t expect him to answer me, and I’m pleased when I get a message back within seconds.

I understand. We’ll talk more in the morning.

Can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but as quick to temper as I can be, I’m not the type of chick who likes to go to bed angry. Me and Aleks will hash it out in the morning and we’ll be okay.

Me and Ryker?

That’s a whole other story.

Not surprisingly, Ryker’s gone when I peek out onto the balcony the next morning, leaving only the remains of his tattered clothes behind. My wolf woke me up at around three am when it picked up on Aleks finally coming home. If he was really only watching over me while Aleks was gone, he would’ve left soon after and he obviously did.

That makes me wonder. Since he’s staying in Muncie with Roman’s blessing, I figure he’s not running all the way back to Accalia. He’s gotta be sticking close by. Somewhere he can keep an eye on me and store enough clothes. At the rate he’s going, he’ll run out and then he’ll be stuck wearing his skin with nothing to cover it.

Mm. Naked Ryker⁠—

No. Bad Gem. Don’t think about naked Ryker. That way lays total danger.

Breakfast. Breakfast sounds good. Ever since I had to throw away that pizza from last night, I’ve been craving sausage. I think I have some of those little breakfast sausage links in the freezer.

And if sausage also makes me think of Ryker, then I just need to get my head out of the damn gutter already.

I’m moving toward the kitchen, completely focused on breakfast, when Aleks’s door opens.

I freeze in the hall.

“Gem. Can we talk?”

I turn toward him. There goes any hope that it was a coincidence he was getting up this early. Aleks has already showered and gotten dressed. Unless I’m wrong, he must’ve been up for a while, just waiting to start this conversation.

“Depends,” I say carefully. “What do you want to talk about?”

Aleks lifts his hand, running his fingers through his curls. “I want to apologize.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Yeah? What for?”

A soft exhale. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t make this easy for me.”

“You’ve got more than two centuries on me, Aleks. You should be an old pro at apologizing by now.”

“Not if I never believed I was in the wrong. I could count the number of times I’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ using one hand.”

“And I get one? I’m honored.”

His lips quirk just enough to shatter his solemn expression. I’m glad. I know we were fighting last night, but it takes two to tango. We both messed up. There’s no reason for him to approach this talk like he killed someone.

Unless he did.

Only half-joking, I say, “You didn’t drain Ryker or anything last night, did you?”

His gaze flickers over my shoulder toward the empty balcony. “Your puppy is gone?” he asks, then he winces. “Perhaps I should apologize for that remark, too.”

“Nah. He deserves that.”

“Then I’ll just apologize to you. I’m sorry. I never should have said what I did last night. When I⁠—”

I hold up my hand. If he repeats himself, I’m not so sure I’ll resist the urge to slap him again. “I remember.”

“It was cruel and unnecessary. You’ve made yourself very clear and I… I shouldn’t have taken my frustrations out on you. I know where we stand. But when I think about how much that Alpha of yours hurt you.” He gulps, his light green eyes bleeding over to bright red. It’s a sure sign that he’s fighting his own bloodthirsty nature. “I was there. I watched you get over his rejection. I don’t want to see that happen again.”

So tell me you’ll never be my mate all you want. I know better. You’re mine…

“It won’t,” I say firmly. “And, if it counts for anything, I’m sorry, too.”

“It counts for everything.” The red staining his irises starts to fade. “Friends?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

It’s the best I can offer him.