CHAPTER NINETEEN
Who said I need to fix my life first before facing Margot? Why should I listen to them? Are they me? Am I them? I’m slow, aren’t I? Stubborn and immature. Then I will prove to them how stubborn I am.Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
I entered Blaze’s subdivision. I brought another car that I borrowed from my cousin. Just to be sure and maybe my car is also banned here. I was in front of Blaze’s gate and I didn’t ring the doorbell. I climbed the gate then knocked.
“Jace?” Blaze asked in shock and was about to close the door but I entered first. I kicked two strollers as well as two cribs as I hurried to get inside.
“I want to talk to Margot.”
“Sir Blaze this is Joker’s milk.”
“Sir, it’s for —–”
“You two go upstairs and tell Maggie that Jace is here.” Two for Joker and both are still carrying formula milk.
“Blaze, I want to talk to Margot.”
“Jace, didn’t the attorney tell you that you can’t approach Margot?”
“I don’t care.”
“Jace, please listen.”
“Margot!”
“Jace, stop it. What are you doing?”
“Margot, Yahoo!”
“Hey!” Maggie shouted from above. “Don’t shout and Joker will wake up. What are you doing here?”
“Maggie, I want to talk to Margot.”
“No, she doesn’t want to talk to you, so leave. Get that friend of yours away, Love, before I call the police.”
“Jace, please leave.”
“Blaze, I’m your friend, why are you shooing me away?”
“It’s not time yet, let Margot heal first.” But I did not listen to him.
“Margot!”
“Fuck, Jace, don’t put me in trouble between you and my wife.”
“Margot!”
“I’m going to attack you, you idiot.”
“Margot!”
“Are you really that stubborn?”
“Margot, yahoo!”
“Jace!” he scolded.
“Let him, Blaze.” I looked at where the voice came from. I saw Margot sitting in her wheelchair. Pale and obviously quite thin. I wanted to hug her but I couldn’t move because of what I saw. I suddenly felt sorry for her. Fuck, did I do that to her? Is it because of me that is why it’s happened to her?
“Blaze, can you go to my room first?” Why is she sending Blaze to her room? I stared at Blaze but he stared at me too.
“Margot?”
“I’ll let you talk to me now without a lawyer. But the next time you come to me I will call the police. What do you want?”
“Margot.” I approached her and knelt down. “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry if I hurt you with my stupidity. Please. Revoke the annulment and go home with me. I’ll take care of you. I am your husband, right?”
“Are you kidding?”
“Margot.”
“You made this, Jace.”
“I’m sorry and I apologize. I know I’m stupid but believe me. Suddenly my life has lost value since I came home and I realized I’m alone because you’re gone.”
“Didn’t Maggie tell you where Brianna was?”
“She’s not what I need. You, Margot?” She smiled at me as she shook. “Please, come home.”
“You’re also doing to me now what you did to Brianna when you have mistakes against her.”
“Margot.”
“You ran away from her in your marriage and because you humiliated her and you wanted to atone for your mistakes even if it was wrong you still make up with her. In your desire to get rid of your guilt for humiliating her you forced her to be yours even though you have obligations to others. And now you want to do the same to me. You are guilty of what happened to us and to cover up your guilt you want to take care of me and come back. Why, do you think your care will return what you did to me? You have to leave me alone, Blaze.”
Somehow, a realization hit me. Yes, maybe I’m really guilty of what happened to Brianna and me then because if I really loved her I would fight her but I didn’t. I just let her be my mistress. If I really loved her I would have fought for her and not married Margot.
“I need you, Margot.”
“I wish you think of that before. We weren’t in this position now.”
“Margot, maybe I just didn’t feel then that I really needed you because I was blinded to think Brianna was the one I loved, and as you said it was just guilt because of what I did to her. But, Margot, I will not marry you and I will not tie myself to you if I am not happy with you.”
“You just have an obligation to me so you’re forced.”
“No, I can stand Umami even if we’re not married. I married you because that’s what I want. No stupid man wants to be tied up if he’s not sure about the woman. Maybe I said that annulment is possible but we know it’s a long process. No man will gamble in marriage if he is not sure of the woman he wants to be with.”
“You just feel sorry for me so you married me.”
“And why do you think?” She met my gaze. “Why do I feel sorry for you?”
“I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
“Because I love you, Margot. It’s not just pity. I love you so I become soft on you. Maybe it’s too late before I realize that I love you. I feel sorry for you because you’re special. Everything I feel for you is different from everyone else. Even with Brianna, I didn’t feel it. I left her and I don’t care how she felt then. But you, you, I can’t let you get mad at me or get mad at me and you know that. Even if it hasn’t happened yet all of this, you know I can let you get sad. That I followed you more than I wanted to. I put you before anyone, even myself. You know that.”
“Go away, Jace, I won’t change my mind.”
“I love you, believe me.”
“Get out.”
I grabbed her leg and cried. They said it’s shameful when the man cries but I don’t care. If this was the only way for her to come back to me I would do it every day.
“I’ve lost Umami, please, Margot, not you either. I’m sorry for what happened, I really need you.”
“My love for you will never return so leave and have fun because this is what you want. That you will not have any obligation to me. Now you are free.”
“I don’t want to, I don’t want to be free. Even if I’m tied to you for life, it’s ok with me as long as I’m with you. I’m used to you being there next to me. I’m used to being with you. I’ve been having a hard time these past few days without you. And maybe I’ll stay of not being able to cope when you disappear from me forever. Margot, I know I’m stupid but when you leave me I realized that I love you. It’s just you.”
“You choose it, Jace. It’s what you want to happen, so feel it and be happy.”
“Don’t you love me anymore? You say you love me. Don’t you love me now?” She looked at me and removed my hand.
“No, my love for you is as Umami left my womb.”
“Margot.”
“Leave. I don’t care if you sign the annulment or not but don’t ever come near me again.”
“Margot, have mercy on me. Give me one more chance.”
“I don’t want.”
“Didn’t I deserve to be given a second chance?”
“Once is enough, twice is too much. Leave, Jace. You fool me not only once, but many times. You’re not deserving to have another chance.”
“Margot.”
“Blaze!” she calls. Blaze came out of her room. “Jace’s leaving.”
“Margot, Margot, please.” I clung to Margot’s leg while crying.
“Jace, please leave her first.” Even Blaze removed my hand so I was released from Margot.
“Margot, please.” She had already operated the wheelchair into her room. “Margot!”
“Jace. This isn’t the right time. Let her heal. Don’t impose your stubbornness on her. Be a man, man. Your wife is hurt.”
“Why, because you and your wife are okay now. That’s why you are like that to me?! You must understand me because you know what I went through!”
“Your problem is different from ours. Jace, listen. Your wife is hurt because of what she heard and in front of us. She was embarrassed, trampled on being a wife, and being a woman. What do you want? Just a sorry then everything is okay? Man, think about her situation.”
“You’re talking too much.” I pushed him and left.