Dimensional Descent

3224  Free From Comparison

After… he never thought of after… All he thought about was what he could do right now to make himself stronger, how he could strive to reach those heights his brother had that he never could, how he could rip the head from the body of the woman he hated the most in this world. But he never thought about what he wanted after, what he desired… He had made every aspect of his life a part of his training. He didn't even give his wife the happiness of a child; he wore his Divine Armor everywhere he went, and there wasn't a single moment where he wasn't thinking about how he might refine his spear further. But what he didn't think about was how hollow he would be if he ever accomplished those things. Did he really care about them enough for them to become the foundation of this being? Leonel had been faced with this question not too long ago as well. He knew that he wanted to kill the Demoness, but was that enough for him to base his entire Valiant Heart on? Of course not. If he hinged his entire being on a person he would soon enough kill, then what would he do after? Would he just end his life right then and there? He chose Freedom to base his Valiant Heart on precisely because it was so generic. Leonel had never had any grand aspirations or desires. He had never been able to take things seriously because it all came easy to him. What he wanted wasn't some grand goal; it was just the freedom to do whatever he might desire on a whim… The freedom to laze around… the freedom to play around with his kids and flirt with his wife… the freedom to joke around with his brothers. As for Montez… He could remember the image of his father quite well. That man should have had all the reason in the world to hate the Demoness, but he never said a bad word about her. He was so laid back and casual about things. Ishmael was a man who took life in stride. He had only spoken to his sons seriously about the Demoness a single time. Even to this day, Montez could remember that conversation clearly. ~"If you want to hate anyone, don't hate your mother… hate your father, because it's my fault that I wasn't strong enough to give her what she needed. How can I be the man of the household when my back wasn't straight enough and my spear wasn't strong enough?"~ He had said these words with a warm smile on his face as though it didn't matter one way or another. Not long afterward, he had died… but that smile was seared into Montez's mind. Because it had been from the bottom of his father's heart. He had meant every word he said, and yet he had also not let it affect his mood. Maybe in terms of raw power, Ishmael wasn't a match for the top echelon of Gods; none of them ever had been… But in terms of heart? He was in a league of his own. His father liked to claim all the time that there had been a point in their relationship when the Demoness had truly loved him. They sounded like the mad ravings of a man who still hadn't given up on his one true love. But right now, Montez suddenly felt that a father with a heart like his couldn't have possibly been lying about such a thing. Unfortunately… whatever love that was didn't last long. The one thing his father had never said was that the Demoness loved him even now. But he probably never said such words because one, he knew they would be a lie, and two… because he really didn't want his sons to hate their mother. It was just that that was a ship that had set sail long ago. There was too much anger to hold onto. These were things that could simply never be forgiven. But his father's carefreeness… where he didn't think about what others thought and didn't feel the need to cater to their needs or even to compare himself to them… That was what Montez realized he desired most… To be free of comparisons… to be allowed to live his own life without the restrictions placed on him by others… There was a blossoming in Montez's heart as his power ripped through several stages. At some time unknown to Leonel, he had long reached the Ninth Dimension. But now, his Forces had finally caught up. The silhouette of an aged man with bronzed skin and bright white hair appeared before Montez. He was handsome in a way that made one wonder just how much better he looked when he was younger, and he had a gentle, amiable sort of smile that filled one with warmth. This was the first time he had ever seen him… but Leonel was certain in that instant… that this was his grandfather. Montez was forming his Idol in the image of his father. The bronze eyes of Ishmael's silhouette sharpened as spear lights radiated from them. It was ironic… to build his Valiant Heart on avoiding comparisons, and then forming his Idol in the image of his grandfather… those two things seemed to be directly contradictory. But Montez didn't see it that way. In fact, he would say that the fact he dared to do this now meant that he was clear in his heart about what he wanted. In the past, he wouldn't have been able to draw such a clear distinction… But now he could feel it tangibly… that difference between respect and idolization. He respected his father to the bottom of his heart. And from this moment on, he would hold his spear up for the sake of both of them. "That's grandpa?" Leah asked. Leonel nodded. "Leonel." "Yes?" "I have to go now. I can sense her." Leonel looked down toward the soul tie on his uncle's finger and nodded slowly. "If you need anything… just say my name," Leonel said softly, even though he was certain his uncle would do no such thing. Montez grinned. "Look at you. You probably don't even realize how ridiculous that sounds, huh? You and your father, two peas in a pod." Just speak his name? From anywhere and he would know? It seemed that his nephew had reached a truly shocking stage. However, this was something he had to do on his own. With a step, Montez vanished.  

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