Camera Shy (Lessons in Love Book 1)

Finn has the exact same coffee maker that Dex does. It’s far fancier than a coffee maker should be. There are more buttons here than inside of a high-rise elevator. But after more than half a summer navigating Dex’s pretentious caffeine machine, I’m able to make a good pot of coffee with my eyes closed. Four scoops. Thirty-six ounces. Extra bold.

I’m grabbing a coffee mug from the cabinet when I hear the front door open and then slam shut. Instinctively, I pull at the hem of Finn’s undershirt that I’m wearing. I’m a full-figured girl and in no way is Finn’s thin, white muscle shirt draped over me. It’d probably be much looser and longer on the model type, but between my chest, my hips, and my ass, this shirt is a baby tee on me and whoever is walking through that front door is about to get a show. I have no time to dart back to the bedroom.

“Finn!”

I’m relieved to hear Lennox’s voice.

“It’s me,” I call out. “And fair warning, I’m in my underwear.”

Lennox turns the corner and sees my flushed, sheepish smile. I cross my right leg over the left in a show of modesty. She smirks at me, looking thoroughly pleased. “You guys really hump like bunnies, don’t you?”

I blink at her. “We had…an adult sleepover after the photo shoot,” I say wryly as I cross my arms.

She begins to laugh then her face flattens in concern. “Wait, you mean you guys did the photo shoot and then came back to the main house, right—”

I give her a guilty, closed-lip smile as Finn turns the corner and answers for me. “We definitely did not. We christened the shit out of my studio. We’re going to need to clean up in there a little.”

Finn’s shirtless, showing off his taut, firm abs. They look extra swollen today, like he put them through a hellish workout. Hmm, how much does thrusting work the ab muscles? I feel a twinge of guilt as I appreciate Finn’s perfectly defined body knowing what’s firm on him is soft on me. I am never going to measure up to his level when it comes to looks. I have no idea what this man sees in me. Maybe kindness? Respect? Smarts? But is that enough to carry a relationship? It certainly wasn’t enough for Mason and me.

“You horny assholes. Do you know how long I worked on staging?”

Finn ruffles Lennox’s hair as he passes, the way an annoying big brother would. “You did a great job. The set worked beautifully. We’ll have pictures back in a couple weeks or so…not that I get to see them.” When he gets to me, he wraps his arms around me, letting his hand rest on my half-covered ass. He kisses me unapologetically as if Lennox is nowhere in sight. When I’m good and breathless, he pulls his cool lips from mine and tugs on the T-shirt I’m wearing. “This looks so sexy on you. Keep it. I want to see you in it again tomorrow when I wake up.”

God, I love the attention.

Is that so wrong to admit? Can I be a sensible, hard-working, un-shallow woman and still melt into a puddle when this Adonis of a man looks at me like this?

Finn glances at my empty mug and takes it from me, understanding I haven’t had a chance to pour a cup yet.

“Your phone is over there charging. You must’ve forgotten it out here last night, so I plugged it in.” I point to the outlet on the kitchen island. “It rang like four times this morning.”

“Who’s been calling?” Finn asks absentmindedly. He fetches another cup from the cabinet to match mine and proceeds to fill both cups.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” he parrots in a mumble. “You said you plugged in my phone.”

“Yeah.”

“So you didn’t see who was calling?”

“I didn’t look. Wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy?”

Finn spins around and his puzzled eyes meet mine. “You can. I have nothing to hide.”

I return his befuddled expression. “I believe you. But I respect your privacy.”

Maybe I should’ve gone through Mason’s phone from time to time. I could’ve gotten a tip-off as to what was going on. It’s more than possible that his adventures on the Rumble app didn’t start after we were broken up. I just have never been a snoop. Getting dumped isn’t going to change that.

Finn crosses the room with intention and wraps his forearm around my shoulders, yanking me against his chest. He smells earthy and musky, mixed with the last remnants of his cologne and my shampoo. He smells like we fucked all night. Because we did. Finn plants a firm kiss on the top of my head before releasing me. His unspoken outburst of emotion is obvious. I may be the first woman who’s respected Finn’s privacy.

It’s in this moment that I realize I’m not the only one who was in an unhappy relationship. Where mine was bland and monotonous, Finn’s was boldly volatile. Still…we’re both survivors.

“Well, I’m going to go assess the damage, you jerks,” Lennox says, reminding me we have company. Finn’s embrace was so desperately emotional, the whole world fell away for a moment. “But here, Avery,” she says, setting a paper shopping bag on the kitchen counter next to me. “I stopped by a friend’s boutique store this morning to pick up some stuff for the set that you guys defiled, and I mentioned your mermaid costume. She had the perfect one. I bet it’ll be smokin’ sexy on you. And it covers all the important bits.”

“Mermaid costume?” Finn asks.

“For Cass’s party.”

I think Lennox has assumed we talked about it, but we were a little occupied last night. I meant to ask Finn how he felt about me going this morning. I was going to ask if he wanted me to go as Lennox’s friend or his date. Judging by the deer-in-headlights look on his face, I’m assuming he doesn’t want me within a ten-mile radius of Ruby’s.

“You spoke to Cass?” Finn asks me.

“No, I got a plus-one,” Lennox answers on my behalf.

Finn narrows his eyes at his cousin. “And you invited Avery?

“I don’t have to go—”

“The fuck you don’t!” Lennox shrieks. “This costume is superior and I already have a bunch of glittery mermaid shit. You’re going.” She narrows her eyes back at Finn and points directly at his forehead. “And you fix your face. You’re coming off like an ass. I’ll be back,” she mutters, heading to the door that leads to the basement, grumbling the entire way about us sullying her art.

The minute we hear the door shut, Finn raises his palms in the air as surrender. But I speak before he can.

“Finn, I wasn’t trying to insert myself—”

“No, it’s not that. You’re welcome wherever I am—”

“It’s just that Lennox was trying to be nice, and I mentioned my idea for a costume, and she’s excited.” I interrupt him right back and continue in a panic because the look on his face seems a whole lot like rejection. Of course. Finn and I make perfect sense in private, but I should know better than to think he’d want to show up with me at his future gentleman’s club surrounded by a sea of beautiful, slim women—

“Cass and I have sex,” he blurts out. “Had sex. For years. We just stopped a few months ago.”

The timeline doesn’t make sense. He had sex with Cass for years? But I thought he was with Nora for years. “You cheated on Nora?”

“No. Never.”

“So you’d sleep with Cass when you guys broke up?”

Finn hands me a filled mug, then steps back. “Well, technically that too.”

“Can you stop being so evasive?” I take a small sip from the hot coffee. I don’t flinch when it scalds my tongue. I’m too invested in whatever is making Finn look like someone is shoving nails through his fingertips. “Just tell me.”

He blows out a deep breath. “Nora and I and Cass would sleep together.”

“Huh?”

“Good grief,” Finn grunts, rolling his eyes, agitated that he has to further clarify. “A threesome, Avery. Most of the time, Nora and I would have threesomes—just with Cass. We trusted her. But she’s only ever been just a friend. Cass likes gratuitous sex, no strings attached. After Nora and I broke up, it was easy to be with Cass when I was hurting because it was just physical.”

“You stopped sleeping with her when you met me?”

Finn shakes his head. “A few months before that. I don’t know if I told you, but I was abstinent for a while before we met.”

I try to hide my surprise. And fail. I can literally feel how wide my eyes are. “Why?”

“I got to the point where I stopped liking sex. It got boring and tedious. I’d be with a woman and wouldn’t feel anything. Eventually, I realized it wasn’t what I wanted, so I stopped sleeping around to get a little clarity.”

I point to my chest and mouth, me?

He chuckles as he nods. “There was something about you that made me feel safe. Is that lame for a man to say?”

“Not at all,” I say soothingly. “You deserve to feel safe.”

But then again, so do I.

I’ve been waiting for Finn’s kink. He seemed to really enjoy the rough sex last night. I am totally fine with fuzzy handcuffs and I would be open to more naked photo shoots, but this…

“So do you still like threesomes?”

He runs his hands through his hair and purses his lips. “How am I supposed to answer that?”

“Honestly,” I reply.

“Obviously, I did. It’s a lot of, um”—he scratches his head awkwardly—“parts and stimulation when you’re with more than one woman.” He runs his hand over his face and groans like the words taste bad in his mouth. “But I would never expect you to do that. And I was only concerned about Cass’s birthday because I wouldn’t introduce you to Nora, so I’m not sure what to do about Cass. She really is just a friend, but still, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

I know he’s trying to be considerate, but all I just heard was that Finn likes threesomes and yet he’d never expect me to do that.

“What else do you like that I don’t know about?” I’m almost scared to ask. “I don’t want you to feel like I can’t keep up.”

He tilts his head to the side and looks at me with pity in his eyes. “Keep up? You’re miles ahead, Queen. I’m happy. I am perfectly content with the way we have sex.”

“Perfectly content?”

“Yeah.” Finn gives me a kind smile and taps his nose. “You’re perfect.”

We’re quite clearly fixating on different words because he thinks perfect is a compliment, but I know exactly what content leads to. It’s boredom, dissatisfaction, and after four years getting proposed to and then immediately dumped while you cry into a messy, crumbled pile of chocolate cake. I’ll be damned if I fall in love again just to start over at thirty-four.

Finn grabs the shopping bag Lennox sets down and takes a peek. “Okay, to be clear, you’re not going anywhere dressed like this unless I’m with you.”

I scowl at him. “So I let you push me around the bedroom once and suddenly you think you’re my keeper?”

“You need a keeper wearing this.” He pulls out what can barely be considered a bra. It’s essentially two clamshells attached to each other with a thin wire. It wouldn’t support a cotton ball, let alone my large breasts.

My jaw drops at Lennox’s wildly misguided judgment. Finn peeks back into the bag and smiles at me wickedly.

“Do I even want to see the bottoms?”

His smile is devilish. “There’s not much to see, Queen.”

“Good grief.”

He drops the mermaid bra back into the bag and pulls my coffee mug from my hand before setting it aside. He takes each of my hands and wraps it around his waist. “My friend who used to be my friend with benefits is having a birthday party. I know we’re in the gray area, but if you’re okay with it, I’d really love for you to be my official date and show you off in your sexy mermaid costume. What do you say?”

“Okay,” I say. “Thank you for inviting me. I’d love to.”

“Good,” he breathes out. “Now come on.” He grabs my wrist in one hand and tugs me behind him, snagging the shopping bag off the counter as he passes by. “I need to do a thorough inspection to make sure this fits.”

Oh boy. The urge that immediately bubbles up between my thighs is a little stronger than the tender ache. It would probably be wise to take a break after fucking for hours last night, but it’s Finn. What crazy woman would say no? I just have to hope and pray his dick falls off so I can take a break from this man.

This is chemistry. Lust. Desire. Obsession. It’s nothing in the realm of content. Now how the hell do I keep it that way? How do I avoid the same fate as my last relationship?

“I suppose if it doesn’t fit, we can leave it off.”

“That’s the spirit, Queen.”

Finn squeezes my hand, causing the mermaids on his forearm to dance. There are three of them clustered together on that rock. I stare at them inquiringly. Their smiles are so wicked like they have a dirty secret. It certainly looks like they’re enjoying themselves.

So be honest, ladies. Do you guys all get busy together, too? Am I missing out?

“Avery?” Finn asks outside of his bedroom door. “Are you okay? You look worried.”

“No, no,” I assure him as I squeeze his hand. “I’m fine.”

Totally fine.

Perfectly content.