Brothers of Paradise Series

He’s wearing a dark suit, the one I know he bought for his graduation. It’s a little short in the sleeves and snug over the chest, which only makes him look manlier. His dark hair hangs over eyes that dance with laughter.

Hayden looks so handsome that I think my heart might break from the sight. I know I’ve been in love with him for a long time, but it strikes me then just how far I’ve fallen. There’s just no one else for me.

There never will be.

His lips curl, just slightly. “What are you doing out here, Lily?”

“I’m enjoying the night,” I say. “The stars.”

“More than your party?”

“It was nice, too,” I say. “A bit boring at times.”

“Did Henry show up?” he asks, taking a step closer.

“Yes, he’s here. We had a sub-party.”

“A sub-party?”

I step closer to him, too, and realize that I’m not wearing my shoes anymore. The grass is cold between my toes. “With champagne and games.”

He nods. “And you had some?”

“Just a bit.”

He lifts an eyebrow, in that way he’s always been able to, and I can’t help but smile. “All right. Maybe a few glasses. But not too much.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

We’re quiet, just watching each other. I wonder what he’s thinking, if he’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him. If he feels like I do-filled with electricity from his nearness.

“Why didn’t you come?”

“I’m here now.”

“Yes, but…” I gesture at the empty tables. “Earlier.”

Hayden frowns, like he’s not sure if he should tell me the truth or not. The little crease between his brows makes my hand ache. I want to reach out and smooth it away, to run my fingers over his cheek. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here.”

“I always want you around.”

He looks away, as if he’s shocked by my admission. As if he doesn’t already know how much I want him. “Yes, well, I screwed up last time. I can only say sorry so many times.”

“I don’t want you to say sorry,” I say, shaking my head. Not that-anything but that. I want him to say what I’m feeling, that our kiss was everything, that he wants me as much as I want him.

He doesn’t say that. He just smiles, small and true, and hands me a golden box. “Happy birthday, Lily.”

“You shouldn’t’ve.”

“Open it.”

I unwrap it slowly, looking from him to the gift. I hope he didn’t spend a lot of money on it, knowing how hard he works for his keep. But I know better than to bring that up.

“It’s just something small,” he says with a shrug. “But I… well.”

I open the lid to a reveal a gold bracelet resting on tissue paper. Small charms hang from it at evenly spaced distances. There’s a seashell, shaped like a cone. A little painter’s palette. There’s a large tree-the one we used to climb in, I imagine. A tiny golden dog.

Shivers race across my arms as my eyes flicker between the shooting star and the dog, wondering how he captured my heart in such small icons.

“Lily?”

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. “Thank you.”

Fastening it around my wrist is tricky one-handed, so Hayden helps me. I can smell the faint trace of soap and sea wafting from him.

“There,” he murmurs, letting his hand linger at my wrist for a second longer. A calloused thumb smooths over my palm before he takes a step back. “It suits you.”

“Thank you again.” I touch a finger to the small dog, for Atlas.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Do you want to come in?”

He nods, eyes glued to mine. “Yes.”

I lead him up the stairs to the porch and through the kitchen door. The rooms downstairs are dark and empty. Abandoned cups and glasses are everywhere, and in the corner, the rest of the food is packed up in one of the caterer’s big cooling boxes.

“Are you hungry?”

Hayden’s eyes are still glued to me. “No.”

I swallow. The way he’s looking… he looks hungry. “All right.”

We walk up the stairs as silently as we can. Both of us know which floorboards to avoid, which part of the old railing creaks. I gently shut my bedroom door behind us.

The air between us feels heavy with things unsaid. I sit down on my couch, motioning for him to sit beside me. He doesn’t join me.

“Lily, I…” He trails off and shakes his head. His eyes stop at the photos I have on my wall. Parker, Dad and me on a sailing boat. Riding on Rhys’s back in front of the Eiffel Tower. Mom and I by the Colosseum.

“I missed you,” I say. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

Hayden’s eyes snap back to mine. “That’s all right. You were right to be angry.”

“No, I don’t think I was.” I touch a finger to my bracelet again. “This is amazing.”

He has his hands in his pockets, eyes dark. He doesn’t say anything. He never has, really, about what we are. Neighbors? Friends?

Something more?