Beneath the Surface

LexieNôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

November 30, 2011

I hate Mondays so much. You would think that I wouldn’t hate them so bad since I’m not working right now, but they’re still horrible. The boys got on the school bus about an hour ago, and Jax left for work not long after. The quiet in the house is driving me insane after such a loud and fun weekend. After Thanksgiving Jax spent the whole weekend with us except for about seven hours when he got called in to work. Other than those seven hours he was with us, and we all enjoyed it.

The guys came over Saturday night and spent some time hanging out with us. We all had a blast. Dillon is a riot. Now that I’m getting to know him I can’t wait to spend more time with him. The crap that comes out of that guy’s mouth sometimes is ridiculous. He literally thinks he’s god’s gift to women, and he has no problem talking about it. He’s attractive, I’ll give him that, but the fact that he knows he’s hot is a real turn off for most women. I find it hilarious just like I do with Mason.

I do some dishes and clean up the mess from breakfast before going to sit on the back patio to drink some coffee. When I walk out the back door I drop my coffee mug and it shatters. Sitting on the patio table is a Manilla envelope with a red carnation sitting on top. I quickly walk back inside and set the alarm without getting the envelope. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and call Jax and then Carson.

Carson gets there first and walks through my front door and out the back without saying a word to me. He comes back in wearing gloves and carrying the envelope. I watch him open the flap and tilt it so the contents spill out on my kitchen counter.

“Son of a bitch!”

“What is it Car?”

“I’m not sure you really want to know Lexie.”

Well damned if that doesn’t make me want to know worse. I walk over next to him, and slap a hand over my mouth when I get a look at what it is. Its pictures. Ten pictures to be exact. Five of them are from Thanksgiving. There’s one of me, Jax, and the boys getting in his truck to leave. One of us getting out of the truck at the Johnson’s house. Three of us all playing football with the kids. Then the other five are from different days. More than one of me, Jax, Car, and Dillon sitting on the back patio the other night talking while the boys played. One of last night with me sitting in Jax’s lap on the back patio when Jax told me he loved me for the first time. And another of us when Jax was carrying me in the house with my legs wrapped around his waist. In every single one Jax’s face is cut out and “dead” is written across his chest in a red marker. The last one has “YOU ARE MINE!” written across the bottom of it.

“No. No. No. No. No” I shake my head rapidly while saying it.

“What is it?” I spin around at the sound of Jax’s voice. He’s walking into the kitchen with an expression on his face mixed with curiosity and pissed.

“I can’t be with you.” He slams to a stop in the middle of my kitchen and tilts his head to the side.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You heard me. I can’t be with you anymore.” He stalks towards me, and comes to a stop with only an inch of space between our chests. He places a hand on the counter on either side of me and leans in, forcing me to lean back. When his lips are almost touching mine he stops.

“Once again, Lex, What the hell are you talking about?”

“He’s going to kill you. You need to stay away from me.” I try to push at his chest, but he stands his ground.

“I can take care of myself Lex. I’m much more worried about you and the boys. I was in the Army. I’m a cop. I can handle myself. Now, why do you think he’s going to kill me?”

Carson clears his throat and Jax turns to him for the first time since he got here. Carson points down to the pictures and Jax takes one look before loud cursing fills my kitchen.

“Well y’all can’t really be that surprised can you? I mean I knew the risk when I started seeing you Lex. I knew he got pissed when you went on a date with that doctor, and I knew he would get pissed again.”

I actually hadn’t thought about him hurting Jax. I know he got mad about that date, but that led to him doing crap to my car and throwing bricks. He never threatened the doctor. It never crossed my mind that he might go after Jax. Jesus how did I never think of that? Can I really put Jax in danger just because I want to be with him? Can I ask him to take that risk to be with me? I start to cry, and Jax comes over and wraps his arms around me and pushes his face to the top of my head.

I sniffle, “What am I going to do if something happens to you because of me? I can’t take that chance Jax. We have to stop seeing each other. At least until he’s caught.” I hear him chuckle and almost hit him for finding something about this funny.

“Well you see Lex. That’s just not an option for me. It took four years for me to get back to my old self, Lex. You did that! You and the boys made me whole again, and made me willing to trust again. I’m not willing to give that up. Especially not for some psycho. I’m not scared of him, Lex. Like I said, I can take care of myself. I can take care of you and the boys too. I’m staying right here with you. Okay baby?” I look up at him and see the sincerity shining through in his bright green eyes.

“Are you sure Jax? Are you sure you want to take that risk?”

“Baby I’m positive. Being with you is definitely worth the risk.”